Rational, Irrational
by Pocketface
Summary: It's been three years since Filmore saw Ike, and this time he's determined to do what he's been so afraid of. IkeFilmore


Title: Rational, Irrational  
Fandom: South Park  
Pairing: Ike/Filmore  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: It's been three years since Filmore saw Ike, and this time he's determined to do what he's been so afraid of.  
Disclaimer: Filmore and Ike © Matt and Trey.  
Author's Note: THIS IS A SEQUEL TO The English Professor's "Little Mister Snowflake"(link on my profile), AND THIS WILL MAKE A LOT MORE SENSE IF YOU READ THAT FIRST. So, yes. I loved his story so much that I wrote a sequel for him. x3 This is a kind-of Christmas present?  
But really, check out The English Professor. He kicks so much ass. ♥♥♥♥

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Three years. I couldn't believe it had been three years. Well, technically, three and a half. I laughed to myself a little; Ike and his technicalities. He'd always had to add "Well, technically..." to anything. Half the time I thought he did it just to sound like a smartass. Which he probably did. Well, technically, used to. There was that fear again. The fear that had kept me from this particular house every time I came back home. But here I was, college graduate and soon-to-be lawyer, and I was still shaking like a child at the mention of his name. My brisk, determined walk slows to a sluggish, wary one. Something very out of my character, I know. And I also know that he's the only one who could do this to me. 

Me and Ike went to the same college; Harvard. I was determined to be a lawyer. He used to laugh and tell me I'd make such a fantastic lawyer. I don't think he ever really had a plan for what he wanted to do. I think he figured that if he was so smart, such a genius, then something perfect would just drop in his lap. It had been hard for Ike to accept everybody's reassurances that he had a guaranteed future. In high school he'd been so modest. I remembered once in Freshman year when he wanted to hide his report card from his mother because he had straight-As. I didn't really blame him, I'd always been scared shitless by Sheila Broflovski. Something I never really understood about Ike's family had always been the way they treated him. I've always been convinced his huge breakdown was mostly his mother's fault. She always regarded him as second-best, I think. This never made any sense to me, because obviously Ike was the better sibling. But they always coddled Kyle a little more. Not enough to ignore Ike and his accomplishments, but they were more surprised when Kyle became valedictorian then when Ike earned the honor three years later. Of course they were happy for both their sons, but I always figured that when you had a son as special and amazing as Ike you were supposed to love him more. But no, they loved Kyle and Ike equally, I suppose. I think that might've had something to do with him being adopted.

My walk slows to a stop as I realize that his house is only down the street. I'd forgotton how small South Park was, it never took long to go anywhere. But with the sight of his house a very unwanted memory flooded back. A memory that I'd been fighting back for years. A memory of watching somebody break, watching your best friend splinter into a million pieces right in front of you. It was the night before mid-term exams in our Freshman year of college, and practically everyone in the dorm was up studying. So the first thing I thought when Ike came hammering on my door was that my neighbors wouldn't appreciate his drop-in. Then I remember seeing him, leaning on the doorframe with tears pouring down his cheeks while he quivered like he was freezing. I think I blocked most of that night out. In all those late nights trying not to think about him I forgot the details. There was screaming(mostly from him), crying, and a lot of floundering on my part. I bit my lip, biting back the crushing guilt I'd felt so many times in the last three and a half years. I could've done something to prevent the breakdown, I know I could've. Later that day Kyle had assured me there was nothing I could've done, that this had been stirring in Ike's mind for a while now. But I didn't believe him. I didn't believe him because there was something I _knew_ I could've done, and I didn't. Something I'd been trying to do for four years. Something I was determined to do now.

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes briefly and starting up my brisk, determined walk again. This time it took me all the way up to his front door, but I had to pause again before knocking. When I did finally knock, I heard a rush of excited feet and muffled excited talking that was reminiscent of children. I felt a sudden pang of fear; there were kids here?! In the horrifying ten seconds before the door was opened my mind reeled. Kids; was Ike married? Girlfriend? I hadn't talked to him in years, why hadn't I thought this through? Ohgodohgodohgod--

"Hello! Who are you?!" a boy had flung open the door, a black-haired boy who looked vaguely familiar. I blanched, actually floundering for a moment before I could compose myself. I'd never been good with kids.

"I-I'm Filmore." I answered uneasily, glancing up from the boy to see a black-haired woman smiling at us. A grateful smile settled on my lips as she stepped up behind him.

"Hello, please excuse my son, he's a little... Enthusiastic." she chuckled nicely, and I laughed nervously. Who was this woman? Ike's wife?

"Um, yes, he's, uh. Nice." I said, giving her a nervous smile. There was a stretch of awkward silence, and I froze.

"Can I help you with something?" she asked, the boy reaching up to grab her hand.

"Um, yes, I-"

"Wendy? Who's at the door?" a familiar redheaded man popped out and I jumped.

"Kyle!?" I asked, my voice a little more frightened than I meant it to be. He blinked at me for a few moments before something clicked.

"Filmore! Man, I haven't seen you since... Well, yeah, for a while! What brings you to my humble abode?" he asked me, with all the grace of a very happy family man. I blanked for a couple seconds before, with a glance at the woman and the boy, it clicked.

"Oh! This is your- oh, um. I guess..." I furrowed my brow, glancing away. My mother had given me the address, she said Ike lived here, why would she give me the address of his brother and his family?

"...Are you looking for Ike?" I jumped again, eyes snapping back to the redhead.

"I- Yes! He's-He's here?" I asked, totally bewildered. Kyle's wife looked between us, exchanging a look with her husband before excusing herself, and taking the boy with her.

"Filmore, come in." he said nicely, and I did. He closed the door behind me and I gazed around his house.

"After his breakdown Ike moved in here with me and Wendy and Noah." Kyle explained, nodding sagely. I nodded back, still pretty lost.

"I-um. I didn't know. I'm sorry, I'm being a dumbass, I guess I just... Wasn't really expecting..." I trailed off, totally unsure of how I was going to end that sentence. Kyle patted my back and I jumped again. He chuckled, walking past me.

"It's okay, don't worry. Ike's room is this way." he said, glancing back at me while he pointed down a hallway. We stayed silent in the journey down the hallway, and I was thankful for the moment to gather my thoughts.

"Ike?" Kyle asked, knocking on what I assumed was Ike's bedroom door, "You've got a visitor." There was a stretch of gut-wrenching silence.

"So? Tell them to go away, I'm reading." came Ike's voice, and I winced. Kyle glanced at me with an apologetic smile.

"No, Ike, I think you really need to see him." Kyle said, and I heard an audible dramatic sigh through the door. Ike pulled open the door enough to see Kyle.

"Who is it." Ike demanded, looking discontentedly at Kyle. Kyle looked pointedly at me, and Ike opened the door a little more so he could see me. My breath caught in my chest, and his eyes widened. After a tense second Kyle cleared his throat, gaining our attention.

"Well, I'll, uh. I'll just leave you two alone." Kyle said, nodding once to his brother and slipping away. There was another moment of silence between us, until Ike glanced away.

"Hey, Filmore. Come on in." he said quietly, leaving the door open and walking out of view. I nodded and followed him in, closing the door behind me quietly and closing the door with a soft click. He sat on his bed, staring at me with those dark blue eyes. His expression was blank, and the total lack of emotion in it unnerved me(moreso than I already was).

"Ike... I'm sorry I haven't... Been here. I was... Scared. I'm sorry." I said, unable to meet the dark blue eyes boring into me.

"Oh?" he said noncommittally, and I looked back up into those lifeless eyes again, but they flashed with confusion, "Why were you scared?"

"I... I thought you'd hate me, I hated me... I just, I didn't want to face anything..." I shook my head, looking away again.

"You thought I'd hate you? Filmore, you know I'm your best friend. Why woould I hate you? My breakdown was a personal milestone, you had nothing to do with it." I think that's my favorite thing about him. Ike was always so calculated, so rational, so logical. The way he spoke, it wasn't reassurance or speculation; it was honest confusion. I couldn't help but smile and laugh a little.

"No, I know. It was very irrational." I confessed, shaking my head in bemusement.

"Irrational? Filmore, you're not irrational." I looked up at him, smile widening as I sat next to him on his bed, sitting close so our knees and pinkies touched.

"I know. You make me that way." I said softly, and he gave me a weird look. I could tell before he spoke that that didn't add up properly.

"Me? Why would I make you irrational? Filmore, I don't think-"

"Y'know, for a genius, you're pretty dumb." I smirked at him for a moment, taking joy in his confusion before leaning forward and kissing him gently. It was a somewhat brief, soft kiss, but a kiss nonetheless. I pulled away, biting my lip and watching his expression carefully. His lips were still a little puckered; his eyes were wide and not really focused. When he did look at me he opened and closed his mouth a few times before actually speaking.

"You-y-you-! You kissed me!" he exclaimed, speaking as if NASA had discovered that, really, the Earth was the center of the solar system. I smiled a little, giving him a curt nod.

"Hm, I did." my smile grew a little and in response he stuttered and floundered for a response, "Did you like it?" That stunned him into silence for a few seconds.

"I... Yeah." he said, looking up at me with big, adorable eyes. Ike may have had the brain of a genius, but he had the emotional understanding of a child. It was so very endearing.

"Cool. Can I... Do it again?" I asked, leaning a little closer. This time he responded with with a small, shy smile.

"...Yeah." That was all I needed to I leaned in again, kissing him a little more forcefully this time. He responded shyly, almost teasingly, fingers finding my hand and intertwining our fingers. I took the initiative in the kiss, gently pushing tongue past his lips and getting a surprised moan in response. I started to move, crawling into his lap and pushing him down without breaking the kiss. We went on like this for a moment longer, until Ike grabbed my shoulder and pushed me away.

"Wait." he said, and I moved over him and he stood.

"What? What's wrong?" I asked, baffled and breathless. Without acknowledging my words he strolled over to the door, pulling it open quickly. Promptly Stan, Kyle and Wendy stumbled into Ike's room, Stan falling over. Ike glared at his extended family members, whose expressions were laughable. Wendy snorted, breaking into laughter that was shortly joined by Stan, then Kyle.

"I hate this house! I hate all of you! I can't even have a personal moment without being_spied on!_ I hate you all!"


End file.
